why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Your dad touched me again.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize