well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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