lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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