she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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