Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize