guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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