Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
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I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
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Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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