if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Randomize