if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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