White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
why do cheetos always look like penises
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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