I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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