you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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