I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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