I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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