Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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