"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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