Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize