the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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