I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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