I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
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Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
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Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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