I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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