i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
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Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
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I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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