I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
our cab driver is having phone sex.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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