Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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