I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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