they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
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So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
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He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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