if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
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She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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