We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize