just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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