we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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