Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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