I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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