see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
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I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
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Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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