This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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