1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i now understand why vodka
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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