I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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