"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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