I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize