those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize