I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize