I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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