so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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