I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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