he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
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He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
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i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
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