feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize