the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
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He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
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The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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