I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize