i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize