So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
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I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
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You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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