i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
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why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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