I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
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An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
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Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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